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If she takes offense at your not having a disposable $1,000 — and don’t call it anything else, because that’s all that’s at stake here — then that’s on her, not you. DEAR CAROLYN: I am a grandmother to a lovely 8-year-old boy whose parents are about to separate. I am supportive of both parents and want only the best for them and my little grandson. It seems very amicable, and I know they will co-parent with only the best interests of my grandson at heart. I never insert myself into family members’ private business, but I do want to be supportive to my little grandson, as he is the one I am most concerned about. I don’t really know what to do though. They are two states away from me, and while I can call my grandson, I don’t know what to say.

Do I just act like nothing is going on and not ask leading questions? I remember as a child that when I was upset about adult issues or confused by my parents’ marriage, it never occurred to me to speak up and ask questions, I suspect it’s probably that way for many children, Should I somehow let him science of pointe shoes know I will be there for him if he wants to talk to someone other than his parents about this serious upheaval in his life? Any suggestions about what to do or not do?, DEAR A.: You’ve already covered so many of the important points just by asking this question, You care about the boy; understand how vulnerable he is in this situation; know he might not be able to articulate his feelings; know not to take sides; are mindful of your place; are not rushing in to the rescue, While your grandson is indeed in a tough spot, he is also fortunate to have as steadfast an ally as he does in you..

My only suggestion is that you extend your good sense from thoughts to actions. Apply your understanding of your grandson’s position by explicitly offering him a place to talk, no judging. Apply your mindfulness of boundaries by mentioning your intentions to the parents first, so they can trust you won’t usurp, undermine or (further) divide them. And apply your natural reticence by not forcing the issue beyond plain, gentle and infrequent offers to listen if he wants to talk. Your grandson might need prompting to “speak up and ask questions,” yes — but he also might feel better with your remaining as one small part of his family life that isn’t affected by his parents’ divorce.

People who aren’t dead certain what a person needs are sometimes the first to recognize what someone actually wants, One caveat that might point to your course of action: Kids who start spending time with their parents separately sometimes have less time to spend with their extended families, Therefore, it might not matter so much science of pointe shoes what you talk about when you call as it does that you call, period, If it maintains the tie, then even the weather will do, Adapted from a recent online discussion, Email Carolyn at, follow her on Facebook at or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at

SAN JOSE — Michelle Southwick inched forward on the concrete in front of the Rehabilitation Center at Santa Clara Valley Medical Center Saturday, focusing carefully on each step she took. An exoskeleton — a powered, wearable ambulatory device that allows for people with mobility disorders and limitations to experience limb movement  — hugged her body from the chest down, giving her the endurance to move forward. Southwick has been in recovery mode since a tumor next to her spine hemorrhaged more than four years ago, compressing her spinal cord. Slowly, and, with the help of the exoskeleton, she’s regained strength in her muscles.

“The first time I used it, it was super frustrating,” said the 36-year-old Saratoga resident, “But as I’ve practiced with it more, it’s gotten easier and has helped me think, ‘Ok, I need science of pointe shoes to shift my weight more’ or ‘I need to stand up straighter’, It’s helped me improve how I walk.”, The exoskeleton was one of several mobility devices showcased at Valley Medical’s first “Accessibility Day.” Hosted for people with disabilities, their families and caregivers, the event featured adaptive equipment — such as the exoskeleton — robotic mobilization devices, motor vehicles and activities ranging from accessible bocce ball to hand cycle and wheelchair basketball demonstrations..

Disability affects about 56.7 million people across the United States, according to Valley Medical. Its Rehabilitation Center — one of the largest on the West Coast — aims to optimize the heath and independence of its patients, whom often face barriers that hinder them from fully participating in society. Saturday’s event highlighted an often marginalized population in need of greater resources — and more opportunities to thrive. Ann Perkins, manager of rehab relations,  called the gathering “a celebration of life after rehabilitation.”.

“Community contacts and community activities are super important to people staying healthy,” she said, “Depression and substance abuse are huge issues of people with spinal cord and brain injuries after they discharge, So this is one of the things that’s really helpful, is to be involved in the community and not feel science of pointe shoes like you’re stuck at home alone.”, Marvin Tuttle, of San Jose, arrived at the rehab center as a patient 19 years ago, where he stayed for six weeks, Today, Tuttle — who uses a wheelchair — is an active member of his community, volunteering at the rehab center as a peer mentor; as a diver at the Monterey Bay Aquarium; a scuba instructor for special needs kids and for Canine Companions for Independence, visiting schools and community events with his service dog, Yara..

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